"Making it [police movie] as realistic as possible. I'm honored to be here because it doesn't happen that often from what I hear. They keep people like me away. "Come down and say 'Hello' and get out!""

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Today I dialed a wrong number... The other person said, "Hello?" and I said, "Hello, could I speak to Joey?"... They said, "Uh... I don't think so... he's only 2 months old." I said, "I'll wait."

— Steven Wright